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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Now or Never..!!!

Now or Never..!!!

This I can say a concluded part of my previous blog ‘The Black Sundae’…where I stopped myself till open my eyes to see the existing world rather than trespassing it n rambling around the doors of heaven…J well I cud see the ceiling on top now and couple of known faces who were trying to make their glimpse clear before I shall close my eyes again…. Haha m also not that weak to sleep again. I just bowed up to clarify myself about my present condition. Right at my nose straight I could see a leg hanged on with weights to the other end of the bed. Two more breaths…realized me that those are my own legs with one on top hanging n the other laying back on bed. I was stabbed with needles which had internal pores to pass on the glucose to my body. From childhood I liked the soothing effect of glucose powder. I use to steal it without my parents knowledge sometimes. I never assumed in my dreams also that a day will be waiting for me where I ll be pierced n forced to suck around more than 50 bottles of glucose in jus 8 days. Although its not the same glucose which I found in childhood but still glucose is glucose. Whether it is fed from glass or glass bottle.

Hmmm no sooner than I opened my eyes my parents n granny had lots to tell about. It was as like as surprise of a waterfall in mid off Thar desert. It was all 7 oceans are ready to ooze out off eye lids but they jus holded it to prove that elders don cry…J but I knew that even elders do cry.. because it’s the youngers like me had all powers to wet their eyes. C’mmon I had given up my half channel to of this body structure to make them cry…n I deserved a hairline of water down the eye lines.

Hmmm… now its identification time…my known relatives around me came front of eyes n started asking their name n made sure that I identified. Smile spurted at inner skin n thought was prevailing in mind that whether they forgot their own identity coz I met wit accident or they want make sure that m the same in same world. I was strictly instructed to behave like patient. Hmmm I was… but from inside I was all healthy n fine. Donno why the real world peoples around me dint identify that. Hmmm a day passed with few more hours left. Doc appreciated as if I came first in class n papa n mom are ready to celebrate my success. Haha he shrugged my shoulder n told ‘Brave Boy’. I had something more to think now. Well really aint I a brave guy??? Or he pushed me out to the limit where I never reached. Coz as far as I remember I was afraid of dark in childhood n that doesn’t sound BRAVE. Well I din fought n won any war to be called brave. But it was the war of life n non-life wat he meant. I understood later part of night n slept for a normal sleep n not a long one.

The next morning I was again gathered by peoples who cared me. Who else you can guess with no brothers or sis.. I am left with my loving parents. They stood instead of me. They holded brush to scratch my teeths. I donno..was it really necessary brush everyday..??? J quite a insane question I guess… but dear reader…have u ever thought that is there any major change that u found by brushing your teeths???? The teeths grow as it was bound to grow. And if it has to spoil.. it spoils for those who even brushed twice daily. Well no one achieved any big benchmark with teeths brushed. Even our father…Father of nation dint had teeths to show the world. But still he is remembered. Even I was advised to brush twice a day. But it was real waste of time n money…J but see the situation now. Now I, not only my two hands but four more hands accumulated to help me out as if they are waiting to fill the credited brushing from my childhood. So many thoughts struggled for existence in mind in a fraction of second. No one ever sensed so much around me. Infact its ly my thought n ly I can sense it…J

Breakfast decorated the table soon after fresh up. I was feeling all luxury of life now…J infact it was hell for my parents... their only lifeline was lying infront of them with leg hanging at 30o. Well I AM SORRY PARENTS. I gave u lot of pain. But at the same time I cant jus stop myself from sharing the humor that was continuously disturbing my mind n thoughts n shrugged my serious poster. It was rather nauseated to disclose it in that particular point of time. So I am disclosing it now being so far. So that u also can enjoy the same wat I felt with you(parents) both.

I heard before that nurses are pretty good in big hospitals. Now its time to make it realize in practical. Minutes later nurses joined to help me more to get the unwanted injections & change the glucose. My hands became notice boards in no time. Everytime they use to come and take the needles off n push a new one as if they are changing the circulars on board. My hands turned red..later went to green..still they were not satisfied. It next changed to blue and lastly settled at black. The pain always use to start wen the nurse use to step out. Or may be I use to realize once they use to step out. In the whole group one was very keen in observing me and take care of me…J well she always use to ask how I was feeling and if I want something to fetch my thirst.

I had a visiting hours from 4pm to 6pm..no single day was vacant. And I was happy to see that my schoolmates college-mates boys gals elders all visited to see me J was I so important to this world..??? And is it necessary to break a leg to see how important n loveable person u are??? I was getting only these kind off questions in mind. But never disclosed infront of parents…J

I was tired to act as a patient. Literally I was tired to be a patient. I had no more patience to be a patient. I started acting as if my parents are worried about me and m all the way fine. I use to talk to my friends elders whom I knew and whom I saw first time as if they were my neighbors and m explaining some incident that had happened to someone else…J It got by-hearted to say the same story for whomever came to see me. I started asking ‘How are U?’ to the people who came to see me instead they shall ask the same. Mom screwed me up and told not to laugh so much n talk to them as like it would put them in dilemma that did I really broke ma leg or simply I was enjoying my leave.

No sooner the operation day hugged in 7 days , I was done preliminary check ups. In that oxygen level was found low and saturation level strucked at 92-94%. Operation was postponed and I was told to seal my lips n behave as a sincere patient. The nurse also advised the same. She cared out of her salary limit. I was wondering why I was so much concentrated. And atlast the day came to operate and I was seeking a cam to record my operation. Haha…docs were in a gentle shock wen I told this. I think they thought to shift me to NIMANS after discharging. I myself donno why n how I became so open n brave to express myself like I was never before. Somewhere I was feeling that this rebirth has given new life to lead with courage and openness. It somewhere whispered that do any homework now or never. I started realizing that this moment is ours. Who knows the next moment. Anything may happen in the next moment. So live this moment to fullest. And keep no works pending for tomorrow.

But one thing I had to keep pending was my beard. Atleast with that I saw like patient J but no one could suck my smile from the face though I was out of operation theatre. My parents had question marks of all thousand five hundred languages on their face but I had only one simple answer on my face and that is smile…J. The nurse who was a keen observer, told I looked like a saint… so now it was really time to shave…J I never chopped grass on my cheeks. This was first time and it took some real effort to grab all black grass from my face. Hmmm that was my real face emerged out of bushy shrubs. She gave a smile and it conveyed that I was all fine..J

Atlast 15th day I was kicked out of hospital in a ambulance and before that doc became very homely in this short time. He said..”If u again repeat doing these mischievous things again…then I will cut ya tail..” my mind was thinking something else ly. I was no Alien nor a species with a tail. Then from where he found a tail to cut…!!! Well he meant it simple but mind took it complex…. I gave a smile to him..n I was pulled into van…J

1 comment:

shillpa said...

Nice writting...